This Sucks!

I’m just going to say it: THIS SUCKS!

1. It sucks that Garrin was born 17 weeks early. 
2. It sucks that he had to spend 147 days in the hospital before going home.
3. It sucks that his time at home was cut short when he was admitted to a new hospital.
4. It sucks that he is stuck in isolation with then never ending coronavirus.
5. It sucks that he needs a tracheostomy.
6. It sucks that he will have to be hospitalized for an unknown amount of time to recover from surgery.
7. It sucks managing separate households hours apart.
8. It sucks that we won’t be able to hear his voice for who knows how long.
9. It sucks that he will need 24/7 nursing care to come home.
10. And it sucks that there is no way to make plans.

I could say that everything about this situation sucks, except, that it really doesn’t.

1. It doesn’t suck that my son beat the odds and survived his extremely premature birth. 
2. It doesn’t suck that he received top-notch care that helped to make going home a reality.
3. It doesn’t suck that he is meeting many of his developmental milestones.
4. It doesn’t suck that we’ve met people that we hope to call friends for life.
5. It doesn’t suck that the pulmonary hypertension was caught before it had the chance to kill him.
6. It doesn’t suck to have an amazing husband, family, and friends to share this journey with.
7. It doesn’t suck that our faith has been strengthened.
8. It won’t suck when Garrin comes back home.
9. It won’t suck when he eventually gets decannulated.
10. And it won’t suck when he has a future.

Some days, the “this sucks” list gets the best of me: I feel down, and the slightest hint of adversity makes me cry.

But most days, I look past the sucky parts and only see my blessings.  On those days, my heart overflows with joy, and I am ready to take on the world.