The doctor that is on this week is very familiar with Garrin, as he was one of three doctors treating Garrin from early on. It was very reassuring to hear that he shares the other doctors’ recommendations. He reaffirmed the likelihood that Garrin will need a tracheostomy, a surgical procedure in which an airway is created for long-term mechanical ventilation. Talking about Garrin getting a trach is overwhelming. It’s difficult to concede that the caronavirus isn’t responsible for Garrin’s increased respiratory needs and pulmonary hypertension, and so we’ve been holding on to hope that those things would improve as he clears the virus. In a nutshell, we’ve been hoping for a miracle. Today in rounds, I casually mentioned that, the doctor reminded me that we’ve already gotten the miracle. The fact that Garrin survived birth 17 weeks early and is now six months old, cooing and smiling, is the miracle, and Garrin’s need for additional respiratory support takes nothing away from that. He is so right. I feel guilty and almost greedy for wanting more. So we’re letting go and trusting God, embracing the miracle that has been given to us and believing that God will give us the strength to give Garrin and our three older kiddos what they need in the coming months.
“God knows what you’re ready for. He knows what your arms are able to carry. He knows what your heart can contain. He knows what’s coming, and He knows how and when to prepare you for it. He knows the right time, the right place, the right person, the right answer. He knows, so you don’t have to.” ~Mandy Hale