A Pothole

Garrin had had a really good week and was able to have his CPAP settings weaned twice before hitting another bump in the road, a pothole, if you will. My husband came up Thursday night for a visit and some snuggles. Unfortunately, Garrin had several Brady episodes and was frequently desating, needing significantly more oxygen than he had during the day.  We have seen Garrin crash and without warning, so this was worrisome to us.

We have been more intentional about good hand hygiene than ever, but I suppose that we were bound to pick something up this cold and flu season. Every time we come back to the hospital from spending time at home, we wear masks to avoid unknowingly passing something along to Garrin. I’m glad that we adopted that practice because it seems that I have picked up a cold. I rode back home with my husband early Friday morning worrying profusely that the masks and hand washing weren’t enough and that Garrin might be sick too, thinking that may have caused his increased needs.

At rounds yesterday, the decision was made to increase the CPAP settings to where they were at the start of the week to see if that would be enough to help Garrin breathe more easily. While Garrin could still develop symptoms of whatever virus I have, the changes made to the CPAP machine have allowed nurses to return to his baseline oxygen needs. The health care team will watch Garrin closely for any signs of a virus, but as long as he remains healthy, they will try to wean the CPAP machine again next week, giving his lungs some more time to recover.

The further along we get in this journey, the harder even the smallest of setback are for me, the more weary I am feeling in the battle, to use words from a fellow NICU mom. I have to remember to give my worries to God, to trust in him without fear.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise — in God I trust and am not afraid.” ~Psalm 56:3-4

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