Cautiously Hopeful

In the NICU, the healthcare professionals tell you to take things hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. This approach to survival makes weeks seem like enormous milestones, at least to a sweet little micro-preemie’s mom and dad. Today, Garrin is three weeks old (26 weeks 1 day corrected), and we are thrilled yet ever so cautious about what’s to come.

Garrin has shown us time and time again that he’s a fighter. He had had a pretty good week up until yesterday when his PICC line infiltrated.   The decision was made to put in a new PICC line and replace his breathing tube. The picture below shows the PICC line that was removed.  We were told that placing a PICC line is like threading a piece of spaghetti through the smallest, most premature of veins.  It’s a procedure that can take hours.

Exhausted, my husband and I took cat naps on the floor in the labor and delivery waiting room between phone calls from the nurse practitioner doing the procedures. After all of the poking and prodding, he was back on 100% oxygen.

Knowing how quickly things can change does not make experiencing these nose dives any easier. Thankfully, I was able to hold him for a brief period today, but because he did not tolerate it well, the doctor grounded him to his isolate for now. To combat his fluctuating sats, the healthcare team adjusted several settings on his vent. They also had to correct the placement of the new PICC line. The nurse has been able to wean his oxygen some since then, so hopefully we are moving in the right direction.

Whenever I talk about my fear of flying, people tell me to observe the flight attendants to know if it’s necessary to panic. I’m trying to keep that advice in mind here at the hospital and not worry (too much, anyway) unless the nurses and nurse practitioners appear to be concerned. This is obviously easier said than done, but I am giving God my fears and concerns and know that through him, anything is possible.

When we started this journey three weeks ago, we had no idea what the first hour would bring let alone the first night and week. Now we are cautiously hoping we will be celebrating his first month of life. All that Garrin has been able to survive, all that my husband and I have been able to survive, is a testament to God’s love and blessings in our lives. In Isaiah 41:9-10 God says “You are my servant, I have chosen you, I have not rejected you, do not be afraid, for I am with you; do not be alarmed, for I am your God. I give you strength, truly I help you, truly I hold you firm with my saving right hand.” I feel like he’s speaking directly to us. Thank you, God, for all of your blessings. Thank you.

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